The Mystery of the Dot

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us
have thought this was connected with their religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington , DC has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a liquor store or a motel in the United States .

If there is nothing under the dot, he must take a job in India answering telephones and giving unintelligible technical advice to frustrated Americans.

Rabbi's Wisdom

A Rabbi's son had just gotten his driving permit. He asked
His father about use of the family car.

His father said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your
Grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut and
Then we'll talk about it."

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his
Father about his use of the car. The rabbi said, "Son, I am
Very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've
Studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair
Cut."

The young man replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking
About that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long
Hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."

The Rabbi said, "Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked.

A husband and wife are shopping

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'

On the PA system: 'Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down!'

Amazing yo-yo contest

The world on a string

Trojan Games

Pelvic Power Lifting


Precision Vaulting


Judo

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys
as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas
pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed
Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about
to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows
where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the
toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of
rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the
cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the
cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the
kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the
straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked
it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely
day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree...

Good clean joke

A professor at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston,
SC was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his
first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting
subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed
to a young woman in the front row and said,

'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.........