Horses What???

The 84 Year Old Bride

Favorite Far Side Cartoon of all time

The biker and the lord

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head... In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be
faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the
bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.

I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'The biker thought about! it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong,
and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?'

The camel

A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert.. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.. The nervous sergeant said, 'Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have 'urges'. That's why we have the camel. The Captain says, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges', so the camel can stay.'
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'.. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants
down and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, Is that how the men do it?'.. 'No, not really, sir, they usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are.'

Perfect justification for alcohol consumption!

 "Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
 "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
 "And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."